Waiting for baby

I haven't written in a while. I have all these great posts partially written in my head, but I've been so so busy with life, that I just can't seem to get them transferred to the blog. There is so much to catch up on.
First of all, I'm still pregnant. Enormously pregnant. Like, you-would-not-believe-how-big-my-belly-is pregnant. I see people as they approach me trying so hard not to look down. It's like they're all having this inner dialog "Don't look down. Don't look down. DON'T LOOK DOWN!" And then they just can't resist and their eyes are forced to take in the planet-sized belly that is surely holding twins or at least a ten-pounder. And their eyes ever so slightly bulge open, and I laugh inside. It IS pretty funny.
I'm currently timing contractions and hoping to God that this baby makes his or her debut tonight. Not making any promises. I typically have "false labor" for several days before baby arrives. Yesterday I swore that this little one was sending the signal, but no go. So here we are. I'll be sure to keep you posted.
Among other BIG news is that we are moving. It's time for this family to get out of the city. In my blogger profile you can see that we "live a simple life too close to the city and longing for the country." Well, dear readers, it's going to happen. We've prayed and prayed that God would make His will known to us and open a door somewhere, somehow, and He's finally done so. He's stretched our patience and proven His love yet again.
In just a little over a month, we will be relocating back to the upstate of South Carolina, near family and in our hometown where we met and were married. We have rented a beautiful house on a country road with two acres of yard. This 3-bedroom house is almost twice the size of the condo we're in now and has more kitchen cabinets than I will know what to do with. I seriously wonder if I could place one dish inside each cabinet and still have storage space left over. That's okay, though--I'll figure it out. I'm also especially looking forward to having a washer and dryer in my own living quarters instead of having to walk outside to the end of the building and then pay $10 per week to do the laundry. AND the rent is HALF our mortgage payment! God has provided a cute married couple to rent our condo here, which was also a big answer to prayer.
We're so thrilled for the opportunities that lie ahead. God is so good to our family. Of course, though, we have mixed feelings about uprooting the kids and leaving the only home they've ever known and also leaving some very dear friends that have been so wonderful to us. We will miss our church--the parish where I was confirmed Catholic, and also the parish where my babies were baptized. We will miss our incredible little neighborhood. We'll miss our little condo, where one of my babies (and another one any day!) was born. It'll also be pretty difficult to leave the town where our Benjamin's grave lies.
And as much as we desire to live in the country, at least I (I don't know about Paul) will miss living 4 miles south of our nation's capitol, just across the Potomac River. It's been such a fun adventure being able to drive or run along the river and have a daily view of things like the Capitol building and the Washington Monument. Any time we want we have the chance to visit a Smithsonian or other museum (most of them for free!). However, one thing we will absolutely NOT miss is the traffic. Goodness, are we glad to get away from that!
So now we are beginning the packing as we await the next little baby. And besides the obvious things I am looking forward to (i.e., the baby itself), there are quite a few other things I'm looking forward to: being able to breathe, being able to sleep on my stomach and my back, seeing Judah as a big brother and Charlie as an even bigger sister, running again.
On a side note, I started this post a few days ago and cannot believe that I am still working on it. Part of me wonders if the baby is waiting for me to finish before he or she enters the world this side of the womb. Hopefully that's the case, because I'm going to hit "Publish Post" now and would really, really love to feel a nice strong contraction to finally begin real labor. :) Have a great day, and I'll keep you posted.

Preparations

We are getting very close to birthing time, but things feel so different this time around. At this point with Judah, I was definitely having mixed emotions, it having been only a year since Benjamin was born. I also was having huge conflict over somehow destroying Charlie's world by allowing a sibling to enter into it. Even during labor I remember lamenting to my birth assistant that everything was going to change for Charlie. But now I understand that birthing a sibling is the best gift that I can give my kids, and I'm so excited to be doing that again.
Except that they are growing way, way too fast. Just a minute ago, when Judah spied a picture of a cat on a blog, I heard Judah start to say, "Meow," which USED to be his name for cat, and then stop mid-word and correctly say, "Kittens." It made me sad. He's also stopped saying "wow-ee-o wuck" for "fire truck" and "hee hee" instead of "sissy." Charlie's all grown up in other ways, and suddenly we need to stop spelling things in hopes that she won't hear what we're discussing. It's a beautiful thing to watch them grow up, but it's so painful to recognize that they're in our hands for such a short time.
These feelings make me want to hold onto every single second, which, I think, is partly why I'm not quite ready to birth this baby. I am one of those obnoxious women who so love being pregnant. I really do. When I'm pregnant I feel more myself, almost as if this is why I'm here. And so I'm holding onto the pregnancy for that reason, as well as because once the baby is born then he/she too will start to grow up like everyone else. It's crazy, I know. But right now the baby is mine all mine.
But alas, the day will come when I have to share him/her, and so I have been working like crazy to prepare. I've become the subject of a photography project on homebirth, which has been much fun! It has also lit a fire under me to do some projects of my own, which I might not otherwise choose to do.
Ginny over at Small Things had a great idea that I copied in order to get photos for my friend's project, but the dried herbs didn't arrive in time for the deadline. The kids and I put things together this afternoon by combining comfrey leaves, calendula flowers, rosehips, rosemary leaves, chamomile flowers, and lavender oil in small muslin bags. When in labor and after the baby is born, I'll steep a bag and pour the tea into the bath for healing and relaxation.

Yesterday I sewed this pretty gauzy nightgown to wear during our birthing time. I wanted to have something special and nice for photos.

And though I have no pictures, you should see my stocked freezer! I've made several casseroles to have on hand for immediately after the birth and in the weeks afterward. As for the food needed during labor and immediately after birth, I know that some people think it's preposterous that a woman should have to be concerned with providing food for herself, let alone the birth team. But what they should understand is that this is the way it is. Having a baby at home means that there will not be a cafeteria (thank goodness), and that it's a really, really good idea to prepare food ahead of time. It also means that the midwife and the rest of the birthing team (birth assistant, possibly a midwife student, childcare provider, etc.)--these people on whom the birthing woman is depending--may not be coming from their own homes, and therefore will not necessarily be able to grab a TV dinner on their way out the door to come help birth the baby. I'm happy to provide a good, healthful meal for myself, my family, and everyone involved! In fact, it's sort of a fun ritual to welcome baby. It fits nicely with our philosophy regarding the home and the family, if you think about it. We homeschool, homebirth, and provide a homecooked meal. :)

So, as soon as I know that I am in labor, I will make my phonecalls to gather my team, set out a casserole to thaw, and then settle down with my little ones that are here with me already. I'll do my best to relax and gently welcome baby into his or her new world. Until then, more nesting. ;)

My Mother's Day

First, I was awakened by my little guy, just like I am every morning. Judah is usually the first to rise, and he always stomps into our room and climbs into bed. On my side. Every time. Never wants to cuddle with anyone but Mommy. It's okay--he's quite the cuddler. Then Charlie quietly (which is more her way) tiptoes into the room and joins us in the bed, too. On my side, as well. So I entertain them for a while and then remember that it's Mother's Day and I get to sleep in if I want to. :) So I nudge Paul and ask if he would kindly enlist Charlie and Judah's help in the kitchen with Mother's Day breakfast in bed. Which he does.

I doze for about a half hour while Paul slaves away in the kitchen over fresh baked croissants with honey butter, scrambled eggs, perfectly crispy bacon, fresh berries, orange juice, and a cup of Irish breakfast tea. I'm sure the kids are helping, but all I can hear is giggling and occasional bickering. But I stay in bed, because I know Paul has it all under control. Breakfast was just lovely, eating alone in my bed and reading my new book, which was my gift from the family--The Handbook for Catholic Moms. I actually read a couple of chapters AND drank a cup of tea before it became cold!

We went to the later Sunday morning Mass so that we I could have a more leisurely morning than usual. It was nice. We ended up walking to church, since it was such a perfect day, and letting the kids play on the playground for a few minutes before the service. On our walk home, we retraced the path that I used to walk from the bus stop, back when I was a childless working woman in the city. The walk triggered my memory of those days, and I began to talk about what life was like when it was just Paul and me, before I was a mother. The days of office work, happy hours, last-minute weekend trips to the beach. I actually used to fix my hair EVERY DAY! While we were walking past our old condo--the one-bedroom on the second floor that we owned (and were perfectly happy with) before we learned of Charlie's existence--I pointed up to show the kids where we used to live. "Look! That's where Mommy and Daddy used to--"

"Hey, Mommy! Did you see that bumpy slide at the playground? It was so fun!"

Not only does she have no problem cutting me off while I'm on Memory Lane, but she has no idea that there was a life before she was born. As far as they know, we didn't even exist until they came around. There was no reason to, right?

It really is hard, though, to remember life before these guys. It feels like a lifetime ago. As if I'm remembering someone else's memories. Life was totally about Paul and me back then. We came and went whenever we want, slept as long as we wanted on the weekends, did pretty much whatever felt good at the moment. Now I can't even write this blog post without having to get somebody a drink of water or help settle an argument.

We came home from church, had a light lunch, and then headed outside to plant our little seedlings in pots to hopefully have the opportunity to nurture an abundant container garden of tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, and herbs. We had so much fun digging in the dirt and running away from the hose (this is how Paul gardens--chasing us with the hose).

We went out to dinner that night, though I wonder if we will next year. Mother's Day is really a crazy day to go out. No one wants Mom to have to cook on Mother's Day, but Mom really doesn't need to wait an hour for a table and then spend her entire dinner not only entertaining her own kids but having to endure listening to everyone else's kids be cranky and all that, does she? It's my fault--I really wanted to go out. But hopefully I'll remember next year that it's not all it's cracked up to be. :)

I spent the day completed delighted with my family. Life is certainly so different these days. I stay busy being at home, homeschooling, and making a peaceful environment for the family, with very little time to myself. It's really hard having to be "on" all the time. But life is so full, and I wouldn't want it any other way. These little guys are what I always wanted before I knew what I wanted. :) It isn't always so rosey (as I'm sure you know!), but if I weren't home with them like I am, I feel like I would miss so much. I'm so, so thankful for our simple life.

I'm also thankful for my own mother, who showed me what self-sacrifice is all about. She gave of herself every single day, and continues to do so, even though her children are all grown. Even when times were difficult, we always, always knew we were deeply loved. I hope that my own children will say this of me someday. Thanks, Mom, and happy Mother's Day (a few days late). :) Love you.

Springing forward

A few weeks ago, Paul was priveleged to travel a couple of days for work. He visited the district in SC that his boss represents--mainly the Columbia area--and toured several agricultural facilities like a cattle ranch, a farm, and the largest peach orchard in the Southeast. Ever since that trip, Paul has been reading and talking about supporting small farms and wanting to somehow be involved in community-supported agriculture. As a result, he and I spent some time with the kids over the weekend planting seeds for our first-ever container garden. We live in a small condo with not much direct sun, which is why we have never attempted a garden of any sort. But we started thinking that there's no reason we couldn't put a few things in pots and move them around where the sun is, right? Well, we're going to try it. So now we've got seeds for cherry tomatoes, basil, and cucumbers sprouting in egg cartons in the house. I have to move them from window to window during the day to make sure they're getting the sun they need. I also have a pot of cilantro outside, and just yesterday I gathered some seeds from a green pepper that I'd like to get started, too.

Paul shot this with his Blackberry yesterday morning. This is the cucumber growth just since Saturday!

There has been a lot of spring cleaning and nesting going on lately, too. I think the combination of the time of year and the time in my pregnancy has resulted in an obsession for me. :) I really like to clean already. But always, around 32 weeks, I get the bug to constantly organize, donate our unwanteds, clean, spruce up, etc., as if once the baby gets here the whole house has the potential to just fall apart. As much as I'd like to live in a larger space, having a small condo grants the opportunity to get it all done. In addition to cleaning, I've been able to make a few things like a new wreath and the bathroom curtains for which I've had fabric for about a year!

My front door spring wreath

We have been having such a beautiful spring seaason. Easter was just lovely, quietly celebrated at Mass with friends and then brunch afterwards. Our Lenten season was also very special, as I take inventory of everything going on in our family's life lately, and sort of streamline a bit. For Lent, in addition to giving up my late night snack (which I really don't need anyway but somehow always feel entitled to since I am, after all, pregnant), I focused on some wifely and motherly duties that sort of needed some "tightening up."

These ideas sound so archaic and repressive, in the modern world we live in. "Wifely duties." The duties that I've been working on are things like setting the table for dinner with a tablecloth (for example) and having family-style meals instead of fixing our plates in the kitchen and being sure to pick up the house, make the kids presentable, and fixing up myself with set hair and makeup before Paul comes home from work. I know these things might sound so silly to some people, but they have become very important to me. I feel like being in this mindset helps to create a place of peace. It's the little details that show a little more care, you might say. 

I'm also working on having a set time for prayer and quiet time, and especially praying for patience with the kids and Paul. It's not exactly natural for me to be patient. Being pregnant, mom to two, homeschooling, providing part-time childcare (just for a few more weeks!), handling almost all the household duties (Paul does do all the laundry, which is so great!), running a sewing business, and making sure to get the kids out of the house when I can, makes for very long days and not a lot of me-time, or God-time, for that matter. I do realize that it's a matter of priority, and if that means heading to bed earlier and actually setting an alarm clock, then it's what has to be done.

I love this time of year for the idea of waking up from the winter, shaking off the dust and cold, and preparing for the growth of summer. There is a feeling of potential in the air, and responsibility to cultivate that potential. So as we transplant our little seedlings, and I begin to close out this pregnancy, I'm praying that God will help me to always recognize what's most important--that while it's nice to have a clean, organized house, it's better to have children and a husband who are at peace, know they're loved, and are growing in God's grace. It seems that it's an ongoing prayer.

On a side note, my parents are giving me a camera soon, so I'll be able to get back to taking pictures and hopefully will then have more incentive to blog more often! Yay! :)

New at JoyfulGifts!

I'm working on some new gifts for Moms over at JoyfulGifts! Take a look at my handmade diaper clutch gift sets--I have 4-piece and 5-piece sets that are the PERFECT gift for a new mom, or just a mom that deserves some pampering. I'm also working on a brand new item--designer aprons! They will be made with some new fabrics by designers like Michael Miller, Amy Butler, and Alexander Henry.
All Mother's Day gifts are specially priced and will be shipped for free!
Take a look and let me know what you think, and be sure to come back again to see new inventory!

Blessed

I once heard that the human gestational period is 8 months and 2 years. So, as I'm tempted to write that I'm in the home stretch, having officially entered the third trimester, I won't. As fast as the last 6 months have flown by, I know these next 3 probably won't. But it's okay. I love being pregnant and will savor the time, growing belly and all.

I couldn't wait to show you the bedding that I made for our next little one. I'm very grateful that last summer I was commissioned to make a crib bedding set, because without that experience, I don't know that I would have taken on the task of making a set for my own baby! I'm really happy with the results. Thanks to Joy for taking the photos for me!

I wish that I could show you the whole room. This is just the baby's corner. On the other side of the room we have the big kids who sleep side by side on a daybed and a trundle bed that gets pushed underneath during the day. It's an excellent way to make space. We had originally wanted to get bunk beds, but the more we thought about Charlie's fear of heights coupled with Judah's lack of fear of heights, it just didn't make much sense. At any rate, we will have all three kiddos in one room, which I have absolutely no anxiety about whatsoever. ;)

So, things are moving along here. Charlie is about three-quarters of the way through her first year of school. She's doing so well, and I am so blessed to be her teacher. I know that all homeschooling parents wonder at times why we do what we do, but right now I know exactly why I'm doing this. Yesterday we spent the majority of our school day talking about gravity, which turned into a discussion on the planets and the universe, which developed into a discussion on God and His immense power. I don't know that a discussion like this would have ensued at a conventional kindergarten, and I'm so happy for the opportunity to participate in a learning experience like this. I'm trying to get a head start on preparations for next year, since I know that a large part of my summer will be spent babymooning. Charlie is becoming quite the little lady and ever the great helper. I'm so looking forward to seeing her at this age with a little baby!
I'm also working on preparations to start some Montessori work with Judah and will keep you posted. His new development is being able to dress himself. He's so happy with his accomplishment that he goes through "costume changes" several times a day! The only problem is that the only shirts that he can reach are his pajama shirts in his dresser drawer, so the child is constantly changing into pajamas. I want to encourage his autonomy, but it certainly makes for some extra laundry! He's such a silly kid. I know he'll be a great big brother, too.
I bought my first items for new baby (that's his/her name right now): a two-pack of gender-neutral sleep gowns and a few disposable diapers for the early days. Now I can start washing and putting things into the empty dresser beside the crib! This little one seems to be my most active baby yet, and I'm wondering if that's going to translate well once he or she is born. Dear God, we are begging for a child who sleeps well--maybe not at the very beginning, but maybe within a few months? :)
Of course, we know how incredibly blessed we are, regardless of the sleep issues we've had the last several years. Psalm 127:3 says, "Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him." It's such a different mindset from the typical modern view of children that makes them more of a burden than a blessing. We are so, so thankful. My prayer is that we always remember that. 

The Emerald Isle

I recently had the great pleasure of visiting my twin sister (and best friend) and her beautiful family in Ireland. I went solo (well, solo except for the baby in utero), which was hard for me, given that it was the first time I'd ever left the children, and the longest Paul and I had ever been apart. I cried buckets walking through security leaving Reagan National, and I'm pretty sure I almost attracted too much attention. Once I'd made it through my connection in JFK, I relaxed as I boarded the plane for the long flight over the ocean.

I was sooo happy to see my sister who drove with her baby early in the morning to pick me up at Shannon International Airport about an hour and a half away from her house in a pretty little town in the countryside of Ireland. During the week that I was there, we drove through the Gap of Dunloe and Connor Pass; walked the towns of Killarney, Dingle, Kenmare, and Tralee; and visited Muckross House and Ross Castle. Since I was there primarily to visit with some of my favorite people in the world, I wasn't terribly interested in spending all my time site-seeing, but I think we had a really nice balance of quality time and tourism. One of the highlights for me was having high tea with my sister at an Irish tearoom in Killarney. Of course I also enjoyed the many afternoons spent by the fire just hanging out with the family.

The view from Connor Pass, the highest mountains in Ireland

The view from Castlegregory

The girls scaling the walls of Ross Castle

Cindy and baby

The view from Muckross House

A traditional Irish breakfast, one of my favorite delicacies

The Irish breakfast upon leaving the restaurant :)

Guinness and Bailey's ice cream at the best ice cream place I've ever patronized

Taking a rest upon the altar of the largest stone circle in Western Ireland in the town of Kenmare

The girls dancing on the altar

Making homemade pierogies and pasta

Me and my Ireland-bred nieces

Posing with my sis under an archway at Ross Castle

Our impression of a mirror

I miss them all so much, but I was happy to get home to my own babies and Paul. It's hard to be separated from my twin over such a distance, but this world just isn't perfect. I keep thinking about the day when we will all be in Heaven and can spend eternity together. I am so thankful to have an identical twin and to have had the opportunity to spend a week with her.

Thank you to my mother-in-law who traveled to spend the week taking care of the kids while I was away, and for the friends who filled in the gaps for childcare, as well as my parents who helped with the cost that traveling incurred. It was a wonderful and relaxing trip!